Kneel, peasants!

Vee do not often admit zhose of zee common low classes to zee august presence of zee future ruler of zee Austro-Hungarian Empire (und soon zee world!). However, vee are feeling a rare lapse of benevolence und vee have decided momentarily to tolerate your disgusting presence.

Consider yourself lucky...for now!

Und.....Velcome!

My humble home. I call it my "Castle in zee Clouds," since it is located high on one of zee tallest peaks of zee Carpathian Mountain range, remote and inaccessible, zee better to keep peasants like you from reaching it.  Und even if you do, zee mini-kraken in zee moat or zee poisonous snakes in zee pits hidden along zee access roads vill greet you in zheir own charming vay!

Und make no mistake!  My castle is well guarded by automaton soldiers of my own invention, powered und operated by zee most amazing combination of top-secret electro-mechanical devices. You see only a few here, but let me assure you zhat zhere are many more...hundreds more, who faithfully serve at my beck und call.

 Und if you should get past all of zhose obstacles, I have zum wonderful little toys and playmates who vill just love you to pieces....und I do mean pieces!

Ah....I love my toys.

My remote control console protects zee castle too! Through it I can watch all zhat goes on around me und alzo direct my squadron of robot dirigibles in case zhose annoying English interlopers invade my airspace und try to interfere with my plans.

Und if you think you can hide zee truth from me, the power of my hypno-monocle will reach deep into your feeble mind und wrench it out of you!  I vill stop at nothing to get vhat I vant, as my guests, invited or not, always learn!

Of course, my enemies are telling lies about me.  But do not believe zhem!

I have not been defeated, contrary to what you may have read or seen....

Queen Victoria

(of zhat other empire...)

Und two of her annoying minions >>